At one time or another, we find ourselves in a place in our lives where we wake up In The Mourning, every morning, and greet the day with a bitter “Hello Cold World” before grabbing a coffee and heading out the door; the second we step out that door, our backpacks and coffees are ripped away as The Wind Blows and screams into us; we are tossed some rope and given a rudder, and our day begins like it’s a heaving boat, pitching back and forth in the middle of a Hurricane. And that’s how we stay for a few hours, fighting with the current, being tossed back and forth uncontrollably on a tumultuous, frustrating, overwhelming sea.
Some days may be worse than others; on those days, the boat, which we struggle to steer over the waves, will inevitably Sail into some naval war zone, and we will duck as life yells, “Fire Away!” But we get hit, with our tiny journeys not even half-begun, and we sink along with our ships, our lips pressed tightly shut to keep the air in our lungs, our Eyes Wide Open to watch everything fade to an inky Dark Blue. Our tiny journeys have not even half-begun, and yet we sink. We can feel our bodies’ Heartbeat Slowing Down, and as we fall further beneath the surf, we try to remember the things that once kept us afloat. That’s hard to do, especially in the crushing darkness, but we still fight for the surface to Sway with the waves.
This Is The Thing: some days might keep us above the water, and some days might leave us to drown. It might take us a while to find the door we came through that morning. But when we are stranded, Shipwrecked on some island in the middle of the vast ocean, and we don’t know the direction we came or the way to get back, sometimes all we can do is turn our faces to the sun.
Stop Tracking Time, stop measuring your worth against the writhing sea, turn away from your broken ship and let yourself tan into your Summer Skin. Celebrate your Youth, feel the Blood rushing through your veins and know that you have conquered another day.
Life isn’t just about being able to get through, it’s not just about surviving. Life is a tiny journey, and ours have not even half-begun yet.
This is sort of an in-between post to make sure you’re aware that I am, in fact, Still Breathing, and that I am not one of those useless bloggers that writes like two posts and then forgets about the whole blog. I haven’t had much time to write lately (see previous post), but I’ll be back in no time.
And with the sails she tied together,
She made a pair of wings.
And as the canvas ripped and feathered,
She sang of lovely things.
“I will blow away this stormy weather!
I will fight it to the brink!
I will sail this sea and sky forever,
For I refuse to sink.”